MONTANA CUP

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Disclaimer: The contents of this page were completely fabricated in 2005 in the interest of adding flavor to that year's pre-meet buildup. Those who knew Mr. Judge then also knew that he would be the last person to use EPO in an illegal manner. Judge's unimpeachable integrity is what made him a superbly ironic choice for this besmirchment.

 

Four Days Before the Cup:

The following ebay auction provides some pretty damning evidence against rick Judge. Look who is the high bidder! Apparently he will stop at nothing to gain an upper hand in this week's Montana Cup cross-country meet, and it looks as if, once again, the Montana Cup will be defiled and corrupted by Mr. Judge's presence. 

 

Rick's Top-Eleven Defenses -- 2005 edition*
* Erthropoietin?  I thought I was buying "Arithmetic Program" for my computer!
* besides, this order was clearly placed by someone named "pjudge", whereas everyone knows my name is rick.
* and does anyone really believe a lowly Montana environmentalist like me would have $490 in disposable income?
* and aren't people who use that stuff supposed to be a whole lot faster than I am?
* and does the Montana Cup entry actually say that performance-enhancing drugs are against the rules?
* and just because I deal in the stuff (with heavy sales in the Butte-Silver Bow region, I might add), doesn't mean I use it, right?
* it's actually just for the chamois in my bike shorts.
* I never use the stuff -- it interferes with the anabolics (and gives me gas).
* Ray made me do it -- he said everyone else was doing it, and that I wouldn't be cool unless I did.
* my dog ate my homework.
* damn, I don't even have Martz to absolve me of my sins anymore!  And only four letters left in my name to give up!  I really don't want to be known as "ick"!
 


Comments:

Oh, rick! And I thought he was just a natural stud ... I think he's guilty. Dave Rowell

EPO on ebay… wow.  There’s going to be a lot of people dying of sludgy blood. Scott Creel

Post-Race Note:

rick, How on earth could you let Ray Hunt beat you? Whaaaat the heck? Apparently the EPO hasn't kicked in yet.  Paul Koch